Beating chicks off with a stick

Last night was poker night. The most memorable part of the evening didn't have to do with the game, though. The music was being played off of Dave's computer, so when people would spend a few minutes in Dave's bedroom picking out a song, they'd return with an obligatory joke about the quantity or persuasion of the porn on his computer. The new guy in the room, who will be played by Philip Seymour Hoffman in the movie version, was noticeably quiet during the ball-breaking. After two or three rounds of jokes along the lines of, "I don't know how you get [object] in [hole]," Capote finally spoke up.

"Do you really have a big porn collection?" Nervous laughter. Then, the nervousness turns to fright when we realize that, no, this guy isn't kidding. In the midst of the laughter, he mumbles something about "200 gigs" and how he hasn't seen that much porn "since back in college."

Mysteriously, a few hands after all the talk about massive porn collections, he made a lame attempt at an all-in and slipped out the door.