On Scarves

Figure 1: A homosexual wearing a scarf

For the first time in my life, I am a scarf-wearing member of society. Until now, I thought that only homosexuals wore scarves. This belief was based mostly off the observation that I, a heterosexual, did not wear scarves, whereas my metrosexual acquaintances did. I never realized that the history of the scarf predates in-your-face homosexuality by thousands of years. Consider as well the Shroud of Turin:

Figure 2: His Scarf

Once I overcame my aversion to wearing a scarf, I had to come up with a compelling reason to wear one. I didn't even step on the bus before I realized the simple joy of throwing one end of your scarf over your shoulder in a haughty, aristocratic way. Then, I realized the vast number of configurations for a scarf. Here are a few I came up with so far:

1) Ninja (entire head and face wrapped, slight slot for vision)
2) Old Lady (hanging down over the head)
3) Rabbi (behind the head, two halves of scarf hanging down in front)
4) Pirate (tied in a knot around the neck, excess is stuffed down the front of the shirt, a la a "puffy shirt")

Cool-O-Meter ranking:
Scarves - 4/10

Gay-O-Meter rating:
Scarves - 3/10

Scarves recieve a Radikel coolness rating of 1 (out of a possible 10). That's a "barely cool," equivalent to "getting a new pen."