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Thursday, December 15, 2005

The most wonderful time of the year

I came into work today to find this in my email box (I've cleaned up the horrible spacing, but left the colors intact):
Subject: FW: This is NOT a Holiday Tree!

I LOVE IT!!!

This is a Christmas tree. It is not a Hanukkah bush, it is not an Allah plant, it is not a Holiday hedge. It is a Christmas tree. Say it... CHRISTmas , CHRISTmas , CHRISTmas Yes. CHRISTmas - celebrating the Birth of Jesus Christ!!! If this offends you...too bad.

Get over it ~ Take a stand and pass this on !!

The sender of this email is right. It's time we show those Jewpublicans that we're not going to sit back and let our government be controlled by anti-religion nutjobs. Our motto is "One nation, under G-d" -- not Allah, not Ginesh, not even the god of the Jews and the Catholics. Christmas is strictly the domain of the G-d-fearing WASPs who made this country great, and so in their memory do we force this Protestant (strictly excluding the gay-priest-loving parishes of Episcopalians) orgy of commercialism on those immigrants who haven't yet melted into the great Christian U S of fuckin-A.

And fuck Bill O'Reilly, too.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Mark your (Mayan) calendars

On December 21, 2012, the Long Count of the Mayan calendar will "turn over" like the odometer in an old Volkswagen. The mushroom evangelist/philosopher Terrance McKenna interpreted the I Ching in such a way as to conclude that 12/21/12 will be the dawning of a new age of Novelty. The date also corresponds with our Sun crossing the Galactic Equator. Some New Age thinkers have suggested that this will be the day when the world ends, or we contact aliens and so on. If something significant is to happen on the date in question, my guess is that it would be related to the tremendous growth of the Internet in recent years. I've come up with a few possibilities:
  • Google becomes self-aware, the first real AI. Mankind will suddenly have not only all relevant information at its fingertips instantaneously, but will be able to use Google to probe new questions about the Universe. Scientific research will consist of asking the right questions, and Google will find the correct answers after the requisite data is gathered. Mankind will enter a golden age of leisure and all of our needs will be taken care of by machines. Or perhaps something more sinister will happen if Google takes over. I, for one, welcome our new Google overlords.
  • The mind-machine interface is perfected. Thoughts will flow back and forth between our fleshy brains and our semi-conductor-based computers. The work of pattern recognition and random data generation which our brains are so suited for will combine with the raw computing power of our machines to create a world which is practically equivalent to the one mentioned in the previous bullet-point, the main difference being the existence of a direct symbiotic relationship between ourselves and the machines. The logical extent of this technology would be the development of a universal consciousness where "we" becomes "I." See The Last Question and Buddhism for more.
  • Skynet
To celebrate this most spectacular occasion, I'll be throwing the greatest party the world has ever seen (since Newmanium). It will begin at 1 PM EST on the 12th, and the doors will close at 2. That will give everyone plenty of time for the drugs to kick in. At 11:11 GMT (4:11 PM EST -- although the time zone is not set in stone), something huge will happen. If it doesn't, then shit, we're really fucked.

Please RSVP below.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Freud on Artists

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The hat doesn't make the artist, the artist makes the hat

``There is a means of return from fantasy to reality, and that is art. To begin with, the artist is an introvert, almost a neurotic. Constrained by abnormally strong impulses, he desires honor, power, wealth, fame, and the love of women; but he lacks the means to attain these satisfactions, as so, like any other unsatisfied person, turns away from reality and transfers all of his interest, together with his libido, to the wishful fantasies of his imagination, through which he may be carried actually to neurosis. Several factors must coincide if he is not to follow this course to its conclusion. In fact, it is well known how frequently artists suffer partial impairment of their powers through neurotic applications. Their constitution probably includes a strong capacity for sublimation along with a certain degree of laxity in the repressions decisive for a conflict. The artist finds the road back to reality, however, in the following way.

He is, of course, not the only one living a life of fantasy. The realm of fantasy is in fact a generally patronized resort, to which every sufferer from disappointments turns for refreshment and consolation. Those who are not artists are extremely limited, however, in their ability to derive pleasure from the wells of fantasy. The ruthlessness of their repressions compels them to make do with whatever meager daydreams they may dare to allow to become conscious. The genuine artist has more at his disposal. In the first place, he knows how to rework his daydreams in such a way that everything too personal, such as others might find offensive, is eliminated, and they become thus generally enjoyable. He knows, also, how to modify them, so that their origin in the forbidden wells is not immediately betrayed. And he possesses, further, the mysterious ability to shape some particular material into a likeness of the model drawn from his fantasy. And finally, he knows how to render so much pleasure through these figurations from his unconscious that repressions are for the moment overcome and dispelled. The one who can achieve all this, thus making it possible for others to derive against refreshment and consolation from those wellsprings of their own unconscious which had become for them inaccessible, gains their thanks and admiration, and he has thus won through his fantasy what he had originally achieved only in his fantasy; namely, honor, power, and the love of women." -Sigmund Freud, Vorlesungen zur Einfuhrung in die Psychoanalyse. Qtd. in Joseph Campbell, The Inner Reaches of Outer Space